The Happiest I've Ever Been

It hit me today while I was researching a topic for an upcoming essay. For the first time in my life, I was doing homework that didn't feel like homework. I got distracted by this mesmerizing thought and ironically abandoned my homework for the time being to talk to you. 

I don't exactly know what the purpose of this post is, I simply want to share some thoughts. It's been quite some time since I talked about something other than fashion or beauty. Change is good. 

Before finishing high school, the thought of moving on from that portion of my life and starting a brand new chapter was sort of exciting but mainly terrifying and sad. I absolutely loved high school, contrary to most of the teens I know. I felt at home in my school and with the friends I had there, but since leaving, I've found a joy and excitement in meeting new people that I never thought I would have. Going somewhere new is the perfect opportunity to be completely yourself, or whoever you've always dreamed of being. Though I had my core friends in high school, everyone else intimidated me. I had known most of them my whole life and yet, I didn't feel as though I really knew any of them. The thought of making conversation with someone was mortifying. They'd known me since kindergarten and some how, in my eyes, that made them more likely to judge who I'd become since. I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's how my brain worked. 

In a new environment, I'm having the most fun I ever have simply from meeting new people and not being dragged down by my past. Not that I'm ashamed of my past in any way, but the new people in my life didn't know that Emily, they only know the Emily that exists right now, and that's an exciting thought. 

 Let's bring this back to my essay, which I have yet to finish. 
I can get a tad impatient sometimes when it comes to my goals and dreams. As soon as I get something in my head, especially when it comes to fashion and my future in that industry, I never let the thought go. I become obsessive, which I see as merely intense passion. For the very first time, while working on my research for this assignment, I was doing something that I actually cared about and could relate to what I want to do in my future. It's an amazing feeling.


I feel so incredibly lucky to be doing something I'm passionate about and getting a valuable education that I know will come in use. 

On top of all that, and perhaps the most important point in this whole tangent, is the fact that I'm finally living in the moment. For so long I only looked towards the future to give me purpose and motivation. I'm still excited for what's to come in the future, but for now I'm enjoying the days as they come, and it's making me very happy. 

I know this isn't the typical post for emeroo, but I really needed to get these thoughts out into words and you seemed like the perfect crowd to share it with. I appreciate you listening.




Thanks for reading.

-Emily